Ana’s story will stop you in your tracks. She happens to be a survivor of the Bosnian War–and to have fibromyalgia. But, mostly, what leaves my mouth agape is the tenacity with which Ana lives and writes, celebrating small victories at every single turn. Read her interview below, and her blog here.

What are your most common symptoms?

Two years ago, I was diagnosed with plantar fasciitis and a heel spur ,as well as chronic tendonitis in my arms and hands. This “tendon” pain and a sharp heel pain are always present, and I know when I am about to enter a period of a long flare-up because the pain becomes so acute that I feel nauseous and dizzy. My shoulders feel as if they are on fire throughout the day. Frequently, my skin tingles and becomes so sensitive that even a light breeze skimming along my arms and legs feels as if someone is tearing my flesh away. I am constantly fatigued due to interrupted and inconsistent sleep pattern. This year I developed allergic reactions to wheat, beans, corn, and rice, and this brought on a different set of symptoms as well. Irritable bowel and skin rash are by far the most tiring ones.

What’s your pick me up, your coping mechanism?

Yoga saved my life and my sanity. No, really. I took my first class thinking that I would not last longer than a few minutes, and that was true. But I pushed myself to do it daily, starting with five-minute sessions and gradually increasing the length of my practice. I listen to my body and accept its unwillingness to stretch fully on some days. While my symptoms did not go away, I gained a greater respect for my body and its power and this began the transformation of my thought, leading me to recognize positive energy in all circumstances. This has been a great challenge for me since I am a war survivor and I suffer from PTSD.

I also love to cook. Preparing nutritious meals from scratch (yes, I am that person that makes her own stock and yogurt) gives me comfort and a sense of control. I believe that this feeling of actively participating in a private world of pain, where everything seems to be out of control, is essential for coping. By sharing in my recovery, even if it comes masked as a calmer stomach due to my “fibro-tailored” meals, I gain my personal agency back and I feel empowered.

Finally, POETRY! Yes, you heard me right. I don’t pretend to possess fantastic poetry skills. But what I do well is read and understand the vibrancy of a poetic word. I read it out loud and I read it often. And I listen to the energy the words and the rhythm they create. It makes me feel alive and powerful. Poetry feeds my soul, makes me feel invincible and strong.

What have you learned from your illness?

I kick ass! That’s it, I am a survivor. Even though my body is weak, confused, and messed up, my soul is strong. I’ve learned to appreciate tiny moments of happiness, and to recognize love in the beauty of simple things. A sunrise, an unexpected rain shower, a day off from work, they all give a solace and comfort. Just be open to receive it.

Imperfection is life’s greatest luxury, and it took me over thirty years, a war, a couple of diseases, and chronic pain to learn this. It is the flaws, the pained bodies, the skin rashes, and the broken hearts that make our lives worth living. They give us a sense of purpose, an opportunity to examine the life as it truly is, messy, crazy, happy, devastating, and beautiful. Pain gave me freedom to accept myself as I am, allowing me to understand that it’s okay to love me. Fibromyalgia opened a path to my authentic self.

What is the one thing you want people to understand about fibromyalgia?

Chronic pain is a deeply personal experience. When someone chooses to share their experiences, it should be taken as a gift. Fibromyalgia is real, so open up, listen, and please, above all, do not hug spontaneously.

Why do you blog?

Writing brings me back to what’s important. The process of flushing out thoughts and emotions grounds me in reality. It is so easy to drift into a secluded world of our making when living with pain continuously. I often find myself shutting down, closing off the doors to my soul, and sinking deeper into despair. So, I make a conscious decision to be my own savior, fighting the battles with words, opening up new opportunities for reconciliation and love.

Thanks, Ana, for sharing your story. 

Get more of Ana’s raw, honest perspective on her blog, Fibromyalgia This: Diary of a Pain Warrior.